Thursday, October 31, 2019

Gun laws Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Gun laws - Essay Example Specifically, the events of the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting alongside the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre have galvanized public opinion on both sides of the issue. As such, this brief analysis will seek to consider the debate from the perspective of the pro-gun control movement. In such a way, it will be the express goal of this author to relate to the reader some of the most powerful arguments in favor of further gun control and the rationale behind these. As such, it is the author’s hope that the reader will gain a more nuanced and complete understanding of the main arguments for further gun control by an analysis of the following 4 arguments: the Second Amendment does not, nor did it ever, provide for individual gun rights, the high rate of gun related violence and death, as well as the societal needs for reasonable gun control laws, and whether or not further testing should be put in place for those individuals that have a propensity to instability. Finally, a n examination of an even more vehement argument with regards to gun control will be entertained and discussed. The first, and perhaps most contentious of the issues that this analysis will seek to discuss, is the issue of whether or not the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution sought to convey individual gun rights to the citizen. ... In such a way, the Second Amendment can and should be interpreted as little more than admission from the Federal government that it promises not to infringe upon the rights of the militias (National Guard and Army Reserves) to maintain a stock of weaponry for the purpose of defense and securing the borders of the new nation. This particular argument hinges upon interpretation of the Constitution; one of the most contested documents within the political spectrum (Saenz 1). However, from a rhetorically honest standpoint, the text of the bill specifies specifically what it denotes; i.e. the right of the states and by extension the militias under their control to retain weapons. In short, such argument is valid; however, it cannot be used to effectively engage those members of the pro-gun persuasion due to the fact that they have almost invariably chosen to interpret the document by a wholly different standard (Trotter 26). The second argument which will be utilized within this brief ana lysis is the fact the extraordinarily high rate of gun crime and the increasingly gruesome nature that it has taken within the past several years demands stricter gun laws. There have always been cases of extreme violence, even massacres, within American society; however, the fact of the matter is that almost all of these hideous crimes have a single factor in common; the widespread and pervasive use of semi-automatic weapons, readily obtained by individuals who can easily be described as unstable, as well as the implementation and usage of high capacity magazines (Shear 1). Whether or not guns should be allowed is not the central issue that is up for debate; rather, the issue at hand is the ease and availability that is unilaterally shared by almost all of the purveyors

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Business Management Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Business Management - Essay Example An accountant helps to scrutinize business financial records and analyse them to ascertain profitability, liquidity and financing. The generated financial information indicate whether business has a potential to earn the potential buyer appropriate levels of income or not. Restaurants prepare and serve wide variety of foods, drinks and dessert to customers. In a typical restaurant, the waiters take the orders and bring them when ready to customers. The customers pay for the meals before leaving. It is important to understand that running a restaurant successfully requires the owners to be creative and innovative to gain competitive edge over close competitors especially in a location where there are many similar restaurants. Though both restaurants have good quality meals and good service, Brigham’s restaurant is preferred to Shadracks’ restaurant because it performed better financially. Financial analysis took into account the profitability, liquidity and solvency ratios. Additional financial statements for at least three years are needed. Finally, the report shade light on the additional non financial information needed to make informed purchase decision of one of the restaurants. Financial analysis helps to establish whether the business is financially stable and sustainable. Financial analysis is made easier by use of profitability, liquidity and solvency ratios. Profitability ratios are financial ratios that indicate the capacity of a business to earn a profit (Thukaram, 2007). The main profitability ratios are gross profit, net profit and return on equity employed ratios. The above table indicates the profits, revenue, and owner’s equity as well as computed profitability ratios of the two restaurants. Brigham’s restaurant has higher absolute profits by $1,860, higher gross profit ratio by 1% and higher return on equity ratio by 0.04. Higher gross profit ratio shows that

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Modern British Cinema: Themes and Perspectives

Modern British Cinema: Themes and Perspectives INTRODUCTION The history and rich heritage of the modern British cinema can be rooted from its rich history and films which were produced in the past and served as an unwavering inspiration to the themes and perspectives which were evident in the British films which were shown today. One of the most common themes existent among the British films of today would most probably be the concept of social realism. This theme, as being present and influential in the production of modern British films, represents the actual happenings in the real lives of the people, together with all the difficulties and predicaments which were present in the peoples daily struggle to survival. The stories and the people which were portrayed in the films were reflective of everyday characters and usually are have an economic background belonging to the middle class group in the society. The theme of social realism started to be portrayed in British films in as early as the 1960s with also the emergence of the so-called B ritish New Wave. Some of the films in the past which showed themes of social realism include Look Back in Anger, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. Because of the presence of social realism in various literatures in the past, most of these movies were based on written novels and produced plays which showed the same theme. Furthermore, it has been noted that social realism is more than just a genre in modern British cinema, it is considered to be a dominant form of cinema. This theme of social realism is often coupled with political awareness as such has been also noted to be permissive in British cinema. Modern films with the themes of social realism include Trainspotting, My Name is Joe, This is England, and Human Traffic (Strozykowski, 2008) Moreover, new perspectives in the British cinema is also said to have been focused in masculinity, showing themes which were centered and aptly inspired by the British men in the society, or at least, the crisis in British masculinity. Furthermore, more than the crisis, it is said that what the British cinema actually articulates would be the dilemmas of identification and ideology for modern British men. (Claydon, n.d.) LOOKING FOR ERIC One of the British films in the modern society would have been Looking for Eric which was show in theaters last year. The central theme which was depicted in the movie Looking for Eric could be aptly described as how a football player was able to run away from the trials and problems which life has confronted him and it also shows how the heroes of footballs can bring for fans. The movie was directed by an English director in the name of Ken Loach while the story was written by Paul Laverty. The main casts of the movie included real-life football fantasy and superstar, Eric Cantona together with Steve Evets. According to the director of the film, the movie was actually intended to show the life of major celebrities as being only as simple and as complicated as everyone life and the notion that we are stringer as a tem rather than as separate individuals with differing goals and perspectives. The film was also used as an entry in a competition, the 62nd Cannes Film Festival. The movie was considered to be an exceptional addition to the glitz and glamour of the film festival as it showcased the presence of the Manchester United and France footballing legend. The film was shot in the United Kingdom, distributed by Icon Film Distribution and produced by the company owned by Loach which was Sixteen Films. It was said to have an estimated budget of 4 million pounds. THE SYNOPSIS AND PLOT The movie depicts a bitter sweet comedy illustrating the life of a loser postman who was able to receive words of wisdom from Eric Cantona, who is also Eric Cantona in real life, a philosophical football legend who is considered to be the hero of another character in the said movie. The movie is also said to be a significant addition to the list of movies which were football related in terms of the story or the central plot. The movie was all about a middle-aged postman who was able to find employment at the Manchester sorting office through the character of Eric Bishop. Bishop in the movie was going through a dreadful crisis in life which sprouts other themes which were evident through the course of the film. Bishop was alo looking through and guiding the growth of his grand daughter which makes him make contact with his ex-wife, Lily. The grand daughter is a main reason why he needed to still establish close relationship and contact with Lily despite the fact that the two were already separated after Bishop abandoned her when their first child was born. His son, Ryan, was then hiding a gun in their house which is used by the gangsters which are present in the place. In one of Bishops weakest and most depressing time, he considers the possibility of committing suicide in order to end the adversaries which have been confronting his life. Furthermore, in order to discount the possibility of such occurrenc e, a meditation session was held inside his room and after which, he had a clearer perspective of things and let go of the possibility of ending his only life and instead went to see the philosophical football legend which happens to be another Eric, in the person of Eric Cantona. His visits to the football star were able to give him enlightenment after Cantona gave him several words of wisdom and inspiration which gave him ideas on why he should go on with his life. Such visits led to an improvement in his relationship with his ex-wife. Bishop also discovered about the hidden gun and he immediately confronted his son after finding it out. When his son was confronted, Ryan did not deny of his involvement with the gangsters in the place. Bishop returned to the gun the rightful group. His sons were said to be making his life more problematic and they are deemed to bring Bishop into an early death with all the problems that the two have caused in Bishops life. When he returned the gun, he was forced to keep it himself and a series of unfortunate events followed which even included a posting of a humiliating video of him in a video uploading site. The entire family was then arrested and the house was searched in order to find the gun but it was nowhere to be found all over the place. Bishop was given different words of wisdom and advice by Cantona. With a number of fanatics of the Manchester United football team, in an operation which they dubbed as Operation Cantona, Bishop sneaked through the gangsters house to be able to find the gun and threatened that they will also release a humiliating video of the gang just like what they have earlier did to Bishop. Cantona was considered by Bishop to be like a genie who suddenly pops out of the bottle, acted his life coach, and gave him more inspiration and reasons to be able to enjoy and live life despite the predicaments especially with all the trouble that confronted him as being brought about by his children. The movi e ended with the scene of a graduation of one of Bishops children, depicting a happy family and finally enjoying a peaceful life. CLOSER LOOK AT THE MOVIE With the central characters which assumed the major roles in the movie, it can be said that the film revolved around the lives of two Erics Bishop and Cantona who each had their fair share in the flow of the story. The first Eric is the depressed one who has been confronted with numerous challenges in his life, from his children, to his ex-wife, and even to the environment in which he has been living. However, the second Eric was legendary and ghost-like. He was like a genie who provided words of wisom and encouragement to be able to inspire the former Eric in his life amidst all the struggles which confronted him. Like in any other works of Ken Loach, the movie included a spectacular cast which has been deemed to be perfect in the portrayal of their respective roles in the movie. The meticulous casting process for Looking for Eric is said to be an additional in the bones of the character and also serves as an embellishment in the whole process of completing the movie. In the movie, the most important and central character is not the legendary football player, but the little Eric who found inspiration in the middle of his struggle to survival. Moreover, the humor in the story can be especially seen and illustrated in the scenes where Cantona has been giving the other Eric a series of advises to help him go on with living his life instead of trying to end it because he was confronted with too many troubles. Form this advises, there were presence of self-deprecating humor which included his metaphors. The enigmatic philosophical ramblings of Cantona were depicted in the film without losing the to uch of humor to provide more interest in the storyline (Strozykowski, 2009). The presence of social realism in the central theme of the film cannot be also discounted as the main characters and setting of the film revolves around the middle class society and reflects their struggle for survival in the middle of the illustrated political and economic situation. THE DIRECTOR As what has been mentioned earlier, the movie was directed by Kenneth â€Å"Ken† Loach, a native of Warkwirshire. His earliest experiences in the fields of movie and television can be attributed to his membership at his schools experimental theater club. His first experiences in directing were harnessed as he joined ABC television in the year 1961and he then switched to BBC after several years. One of his most notable works in the field of television entertainment would have been The Wednesday Play which he did in collaboration with the skills of Tony Garnett. The said work of the two directors is said to have been a significant evolution and revolution in the field of British drama as such show has spurred political debates. The drama is said to be a socialist as it has been geared towards providing an inspiration to the middle class members of the society to become agents who could be able to potentially revolutionize and inspire the existence of economic change in the Briti sh society. Ken Loach has always been a name surfacing in the Cannes Film Festival as his works have made him one of the favorites in the said award-giving body. During the eyar 2006, the director won the most prestigious award at Cannes, the Palm dOr for his movie entitled The Wind That Shakes the Barley which is about the troubles in Ireland. The most successful works of Loach in the field of British entertainment were said to be exploratory of the varying dimensions of the life of human wherein the personal dimensions intersect with the political aspects. His works show the fusion of politics with the lives of ordinary human beings and how such can greatly affect the mode of living. Much of the directors works were aimed towards the criticism of capital targets which included gangsters, exploitative employers, conservative employers, and loan sharks, which have been a common theme in his works. The artistic visual style of Loach as a director is said to be unassuming, illustrating careful narrative construction, and showing performances which are sympathetic making the target audience relate into the situations which were depicted by the motion picture. The political points which Loach tries to emphasize in his works could be seen arising from natural emotions and situations which are shown to be very realistic. The exis tence of humor in his works cannot be also discounted as such themes make the claims of the film stronger, and at times, can also add sarcasm to the political satires which the film expects to deliver. Loach has already an experience of almost 40 years in the industry with an estimated works of almost 60 films which included theatrical figures and works which were intended not to be show in cinemas but only in the televisions yet still depictive of the same themes and concepts which were common in the directors works. It has been said that most of his finest works were explicitly political with a tough of humor and powerful emotion inspired by the directors intellectual ideas and major concepts. His works were said to be one way of depicting the nations unconscious as it illustrates what has been actually happening in the modern society in terms of the political and economic dimension. Despite hindrances in the industry such as financial constraints, fickle artistic trends, and the ebb and flow in politics, Loach remains in his commitment of providing the society with films which are committed to progressive ideals. The most powerful scene sin the movies which were created by Loach were said to be established in a setting were a large group of film characters were gathered as they discuss and debate over various issues, mostly were political and economical. For instance, in his movie The Big Flame the characters were shown to be having a conversation as they try to organize a strike, in the movie Land Of Freedom there was also a scene which depicts an extended debate in which the characters were fighting about land reform, and the movie Bread and Roses depicted a scene where the janitors were having an argument on whether or not they will be joining an established union. Other works of Ken Loach include the following movies: Poor Cow, Kes, family Life, Black Jack, Looks and Smiles, Fatherland, Hidden Agenda, RiffRaff, Raining Stones, Ladybird Ladybird, Land and Freedom, Carlas Song, My name is Joe, Bread and Roses, The Navigators, Sweet Sixteen, Ae Fond Kiss, Tickets, McLibel,.The Wind That Shak es the Barley, Its a Free World, and Looking For Eric (Robins, n.d.). REFERENCES: Strozykowski, M; Social Realism in British Film; 2008 Claydon, A. E.; New Perspectives on British Cinema: Going Beyond the Crisis in Masculinity Robins, M; Senses of Cinema: Ken Loach The Internet Movie Database; Looking for Eric; 2009 The Official Website of Looking for Eric The Movie; 2009

Friday, October 25, 2019

An Investigation into Factors Affecting Resistance of a Wire :: Papers

An Investigation into Factors Affecting Resistance of a Wire Plan: The possible variables I could use to find out factors affecting resistance are material wire is made of, length of wire, temperature and cross sectional area of wire. I will use cross sectional area of wire and length of wire because I think it will be hard to draw conclusions from the material of wire. I am not doing temperature because it would be hard to get results from and I think they wouldn't be as accurate. I will set up a circuit to find out how length and cross sectional area affect resistance. I will need the following components in my circuit to gather all of the necessary results: Â · Component holder- So I can change the wire that I am testing. Â · Voltmeter- Measuring potential difference across the wire, it will have to be across the wire and not just anywhere in the circuit so it is measuring the P.D across the wire I am testing only. Â · Ammeter - measuring current of the circuit, with his and the voltmeter I will be able to work put resistance (R=V/I). As a safety consideration I will keep the Current under 0.5 amps, so the wire doesn't get too hot. Â · Rheostat- So I can vary the voltage in the circuit to take two readings for each wire at different voltages, I will work out an average of the two to reduce the margin of error. Â · Switch- A safety consideration, so the wire doesn't overheat and burn if the circuit is left on for too long. I have decided to test length of wire at, 10cm, 30cm, 50cm, 70cm, 90cm, 110cm, 130cm, 150cm and 170cm keeping a constant cross sectional area of 0.028mm2. I will test cross sectional area at the Cross sectional areas of wire: 0.028 mm2, 0.045 mm2, 0.057 mm2, 0.113 mm2, 0.166 mm2 and 0.246 mm2, keeping a constant length of 50cm. My preliminary work reviled that these were the best constants, and

Thursday, October 24, 2019

The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 9. Sure As Hell Didn’t See That One Coming

9. Sure As Hell Didn't See That One Coming I didn't really plan to say goodbye to my father. After all, one quick call to Sam and the game would be up. They'd cut me off and push me back. Probably try to make me angry, or even hurt me – somehow force me to phase so that Sam could lay down a new law. But Billy was expecting me, knowing I'd be in some kind of state. He was in the yard, just sitting there in his wheelchair with his eyes right on the spot where I came through the trees. I saw him judge my direction – headed straight past the house to my homemade garage. â€Å"Got a minute, Jake?† I skidded to a stop. I looked at him and then toward the garage. â€Å"C'mon kid. At least help me inside.† I gritted my teeth but decided that he'd be more likely to cause trouble with Sam if I didn't lie to him for a few minutes. â€Å"Since when do you need help, old man?† He laughed his rumbling laugh. â€Å"My arms are tired. I pushed myself all the way here from Sue's.† â€Å"It's downhill. You coasted the whole way.† I rolled his chair up the little ramp I'd made for him and into the living room. â€Å"Caught me. Think I got up to about thirty miles per hour. It was great.† â€Å"You're gonna wreck that chair, you know. And then you'll be dragging yourself around by your elbows.† â€Å"Not a chance. It'll be your job to carry me.† â€Å"You won't be going many places.† Billy put his hands on the wheels and steered himself to the fridge. â€Å"Any food left?† â€Å"You got me. Paul was here all day, though, so probably not.† Billy sighed. â€Å"Have to start hiding the groceries if we're gonna avoid starvation.† â€Å"Tell Rachel to go stay at his place.† Billy's joking tone vanished, and his eyes got soft. â€Å"We've only had her home a few weeks. First time she's been here in a long time. It's hard – the girls were older than you when your mom passed. They have more trouble being in this house.† â€Å"I know.† Rebecca hadn't been home once since she got married, though she did have a good excuse. Plane tickets from Hawaii were pretty pricey. Washington State was close enough that Rachel didn't have the same defense. She'd taken classes straight through the summer semesters, working double shifts over the holidays at some cafe on campus. If it hadn't been for Paul, she probably would have taken off again real quick. Maybe that was why Billy wouldn't kick him out. â€Å"Well, I'm going to go work on some stuff___†I started for the back door. â€Å"Wait up, Jake. Aren't you going to tell me what happened? Do I have to call Sam for an update?† I stood with my back to him, hiding my face. â€Å"Nothing happened. Sam's giving them a bye. Guess we're all just a bunch of leech lovers now.† â€Å"Jake†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"I don't want to talk about it.† â€Å"Are you leaving, son?† The room was quiet for a long time while I decided how to say it. â€Å"Rachel can have her room back. I know she hates that air mattress.† â€Å"She'd rather sleep on the floor than lose you. So would I.† I snorted. â€Å"Jacob, please. If you need†¦ a break. Well, take it. But not so long again. Come back.† â€Å"Maybe. Maybe my gig will be weddings. Make a cameo at Sam's, then Rachel's. Jared and Kim might come first, though. Probably ought to have a suit or something.† â€Å"Jake, look at me.† I turned around slowly. â€Å"What?† He stared into my eyes for a long minute. â€Å"Where are you going?† â€Å"I don't really have a specific place in mind.† He cocked his head to the side, and his eyes narrowed. â€Å"Don't you?† We stared each other down. The seconds ticked by. â€Å"Jacob,† he said. His voice was strained. â€Å"Jacob, don't. It's not worth it.† â€Å"I don't know what you're talking about.† â€Å"Leave Bella and the Cullens be. Sam is right.† I stared at him for a second, and then I crossed the room in two long strides, i grabbed the phone and disconnected the cable from the box and the jack. I wadded the gray cord up in the palm of my hand. â€Å"Bye, Dad.† â€Å"Jake, wait – ,'7he called after me, but I was out the door, running. The motorcycle wasn't as fast as running, but it was more discreet. I wondered how long it would take Billy to wheel himself down to the store and then get someone on the phone who could get a message to Sam. I'd bet Sam was still in his wolf form. The problem would be if Paul came back to our place anytime soon. He could phase in a second and let Sam know what I was doing†¦. I wasn't going to worry about it. I would go as fast as I could, and if they caught me, I'd deal with that when I had to. I kicked the bike to life and then I was racing down the muddy lane. I didn't look behind me as I passed the house. The highway was busy with tourist traffic; I wove in and out of the cars, earning a bunch of honks and a few fingers. I took the turn onto the 101 at seventy, not bothering to look. I had to ride the line for a minute to avoid getting smeared by a minivan. Not that it would have killed me, but it would have slowed me down. Broken bones – the big ones, at least – took days to heal completely, as I had good cause to know. The freeway cleared up a little, and I pushed the bike to eighty. I didn't touch the brake until I was close to the narrow drive; I figured I was in the clear then. Sam wouldn't come this far to stop me. It was too late. It wasn't until that moment – when I was sure that I'd made it – that I started to think about what exactly I was going to do now. I slowed down to twenty, taking the twists through the trees more carefully than I needed to. I knew they would hear me coming, bike or no bike, so surprise was out. There was no way to disguise my intentions. Edward would hear my plan as soon as I was close enough. Maybe he already could. But I thought this would still work out, because I had his ego on my side. He'd want to fight me alone. So I'd just walk in, see Sam's precious evidence for myself, and then challenge Edward to a duel. I snorted. The parasite'd probably get a kick out of the theatrics of it. When I finished with him, I'd take as many of the rest of them as I could before they got me. Huh – I wondered if Sam would consider my death provocation. Probably say I got what I deserved. Wouldn't want to offend his bloodsucker BFFs. The drive opened up into the meadow, and the smell hit me like a rotten tomato to the face. Ugh. Reeking vampires. My stomach started churning. The stench would be hard to take this way – undiluted by the scent of humans as it had been the other time I'd come here – though not as bad as smelling it through my wolf nose. I wasn't sure what to expect, but there was no sign of life around the big white crypt. Of course they knew I was here. I cut the engine and listened to the quiet. Now I could hear tense, angry murmurs from just the other side of the wide double doors. Someone was home. I heard my name and I smiled, happy to think I was causing them a little stress. I took one big gulp of air – it would only be worse inside – and leaped up the porch stairs in one bound. The door opened before my fist touched it, and the doctor stood in the frame, his eyes grave. â€Å"Hello, Jacob,† he said, calmer than I would have expected. â€Å"How are you?† I took a deep breath through my mouth. The reek pouring through the door was overpowering. I was disappointed that it was Carlisle who answered. I'd rather Edward had come through the door, fangs out. Carlisle was so†¦ just human or something. Maybe it was the house calls he made last spring when I got busted up. But it made me uncomfortable to look into his face and know that I was planning to kill him if I could. â€Å"I heard Bella made it back alive,† I said. â€Å"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time.† The doctor seemed uncomfortable, too, but not in the way I expected. â€Å"Could we do this later?† I stared at him, dumbfounded. Was he asking to post-pone the death match for a more convenient time? And then I heard Bella's voice, cracked and rough, and I couldn't think about anything else. â€Å"Why not?† she asked someone. â€Å"Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?† Her voice was not what I was expecting. I tried to remember the voices of the young vampires we'd fought in the spring, but all I'd registered was snarling. Maybe those newborns hadn't had the piercing, ringing sound of the older ones, either. Maybe all new vampires sounded hoarse. â€Å"Come in, please, Jacob,† Bella croaked more loudly. Carlisle's eyes tightened. I wondered if Bella was thirsty. My eyes narrowed, too. â€Å"Excuse me,† I said to the doctor as I stepped around him. It was hard – it went against all my instincts to turn my back to one of them. Not impossible, though. If there was such a thing as a safe vampire, it was the strangely gentle leader. I would stay away from Carlisle when the fight started. There were enough of them to kill without includinghim. I sidestepped into the house, keeping my back to the wall. My eyes swept the room – it was unfamiliar. The last time I'd been in here it had been all done up for a party. Everything was bright and pale now. Including the six vampires standing in a group by the white sofa. They were all here, all together, but that was not what froze me where I stood and had my jaw dropping to thefloor. Itwas Edward. It was the expression on his face. I'd seen him angry, and I'd seen him arrogant, and onceI'd seen him in pain. But this – this was beyond agony. His eyes were half-crazed. He didn't look up to glare at me. He stared down at the couch beside him with an expression like someone had lit him on fire. His hands were rigid claws at his side. I couldn't even enjoy his anguish. I could only think of one thing that would make him look like that, and my eyes followed his. I saw her at the same moment that I caught her scent. Her warm, clean, human scent. Bella was half-hidden behind the arm of the sofa, curled up in a loose fetal position, her arms wrapped around her knees. For a long second I could see nothing except that she was still the Bella that I loved, her skin still a soft, pale peach, her eyes still the same chocolate brown. My heart thudded a strange, broken meter, and I wondered if this was just some lying dream that I was about to wake up from. Then I really saw her. There were deep circles under her eyes, dark circles that jumped out because her face was all haggard. Was she thinner? Her skin seemed tight – like her cheekbones might break right through it. Most of her dark hair was pulled away from her face into a messy knot, but a few strands stuck limply to her forehead and neck, to the sheen of sweat that covered her skin. There was something about her fingers and wrists that looked so fragile it was scary. She was sick. Very sick. Not a lie. The story Charlie'd told Billy was not a story. While I stared, eyes bugging, her skin turned light green. The blond bloodsucker – the showy one, Rosalie – bent over her, cutting into my view, hovering in a strange, protective way. This was wrong. I knew how Bella felt about almost everything – her thoughts were so obvious; sometimes it was like they were printed on her forehead. So she didn't have to tell me every detail of a situation for me to get it. I knew that Bella didn't like Rosalie. I'd seen it in the set of her lips when she talked about her. Not just that she didn't like her. She was afraid of Rosalie. Or she had been. There was no fear as Bella glanced up at her now. Her expression was†¦ apologetic or something. Then Rosalie snatched a basin from the floor and held it under Bella's chin just in time for Bella to throw up noisily into it. Edward fell to his knees by Bella's side – his eyes all tortured-looking – and Rosalie held out her hand, warning him to keep back. None of it made sense. When she could raise her head, Bella smiled weakly at me, sort of embarrassed. â€Å"Sorry about that,† she whispered to me. Edward moaned real quiet. His head slumped against Bella's knees. She put one of her hands against his cheek. Like she was comforting him. I didn't realize my legs had carried me forward until Rosalie hissed at me, suddenly appearing between me and the couch. She was like a person on a TV screen. I didn't care she was there. She didn't seem real. â€Å"Rose, don't,† Bella whispered. â€Å"It's fine.† Blondie moved out of my way, though I could tell she hated to do it. Scowling at me, she crouched by Bella's head, tensed to spring. She was easier to ignore than I ever would have dreamed. â€Å"Bella, what's wrong?† I whispered. Without thinking about it, I found myself on my knees, too, leaning over the back of the couch across from her†¦ husband. He didn't seem to notice me, and I barely glanced at him. I reached out for her free hand, taking it in both of mine. Her skin was icy. â€Å"Are you all right?† It was a stupid question. She didn't answer it. â€Å"I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob,† she said. Even though I knew Edward couldn't hear her thoughts, he seemed to hear some meaning I didn't. He moaned again, into the blanket that covered her, and she stroked his cheek. â€Å"What is it, Bella?† I insisted, wrapping my hands tight around her cold, fragile fingers. Instead of answering, she glanced around the room like she was searching for something, both a plea and a warning in her look. Six pairs of anxious yellow eyes stared back at her. Finally, she turned to Rosalie. â€Å"Help me up, Rose?† she asked. Rosalie's lips pulled back over her teeth, and she glared up at me like she wanted to rip my throat out. I was sure that was exactly the case. â€Å"Please, Rose.† The blonde made a face, but leaned over her again, next to Edward, who didn't move an inch. She put her arm carefully behind Bella's shoulders. â€Å"No,† I whispered. â€Å"Don't get up___† She looked so weak. â€Å"I'm answering your question,† she snapped, sounding a little bit more like the way she usually talked to me. Rosalie pulled Bella off the couch. Edward stayed where he was, sagging forward till his face was buried in the cushions. The blanket fell to the ground at Bella's feet. Bella:s body was swollen, her torso ballooning out in a strange, sick way. It strained against the faded gray sweatshirt that was way too big for her shoulders and arms. The rest of her seemed thinner, like the big bulge had grown out of what it had sucked from her. It took me a second to realize what the deformed part was – I didn't understand until she folded her hands tenderly around her bloated stomach, one above and one below. Like she was cradling it. I saw it then, but I still couldn't believe it. I'd seen her just a month ago. There was no way she could be pregnant. Not that pregnant. Except that she was. I didn't want to see this, didn't want to think about this. I didn't want to imagine him inside her. I didn't want to know that something I hated so much had taken root in the body I loved. My stomach heaved, and I had to swallow back vomit. But it was worse than that, so much worse. Her distorted body, the bones jabbing against the skin of her face. I could only guess that she looked like this – so pregnant, so sick – because whatever was inside her was taking her life to feed its own†¦. Because it was a monster. Just like its father. I always knew he would kill her. His head snapped up as he heard the words inside mine. One second we were both on our knees, and then he was on his feet, towering over me. His eyes were flat black, the circles under them dark purple. â€Å"Outside, Jacob,† he snarled. I was on my feet, too. Looking down on him now. This was why I was here. â€Å"Let's do this,† I agreed. The big one, Emmett, pushed forward on Edward's other side, with the hungry-looking one, Jasper, right behind him. I really didn't care. Maybe my pack would clean up the scraps when they finished me off. Maybe not. It didn't matter. For the tiniest part of a second my eyes touched on the two standing in the back. Esme. Alice. Small and distractingly feminine. Well, I was sure the others would kill me before I had to do anything about them. I didn't want to kill girls†¦ even vampire girls. Though I might make an exception for that blonde. â€Å"No,† Bella gasped, and she stumbled forward, out of balance, to clutch at Edward's arm. Rosalie moved with her, like there was a chain locking them to each other. â€Å"I just need to talk to him, Bella,† Edward said in a low voice, talking only to her. He reached up to touch her face, to stroke it. This made the room turn red, made me see fire – that, after all he'd done to her, he was still allowed to touch her that way. â€Å"Don't strain yourself,† he went on, pleading. â€Å"Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes.† She stared at his face, reading it carefully. Then she nodded and drooped toward the couch. Rosalie helped lower her back onto the cushions. Bella stared at me, trying to hold my eyes. â€Å"Behave,† she insisted. â€Å"And then come back.† I didn't answer. I wasn't making any promises today. I looked away and then followed Edward out the front door. A random, disjointed voice in my head noted that separating him from the coven hadn't been so difficult, had it? He kept walking, never checking to see if I was about to spring at his unprotected back. I supposed he didn't need to check. He would know when I decided to attack. Which meant I'd have to make that decision very quickly. Tm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black,† he whispered as he paced quickly away from the house. â€Å"You'll have to have a little patience.† Like I cared about his schedule. I growled under my breath. â€Å"Patience isn't my specialty.† He kept walking, maybe a couple hundred yards down the drive away from the house, with me right on his heels. I was all hot, my fingers trembling. On the edge, ready and waiting. He stopped without warning and pivoted to face me. His expression froze me again. For a second I was just a kid – a kid who had lived all of his life in the same tiny town. Just a child. Because I knew I would have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the searing agony in Edward's eyes. He raised a hand as if to wipe sweat from his forehead, but his fingers scraped against his face like they were going to rip his granite skin right off. His black eyes burned in their sockets, out of focus, or seeing things that weren't there. His mouth opened like he was going to scream, but nothing came out. This was the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake. For a moment I couldn't speak. It was too real, this face – I'd seen a shadow of it in the house, seen it in her eyes and his, but this made it final. The last nail in her coffin. â€Å"It's killing her, right? She's dying.† And I knew when I said it that my face was a watered-down echo of his. Weaker, different, because I was still in shock. I hadn't wrapped my head around it yet – it was happening too fast. He'd had time to get to this point. And it was different because I'd already lost her so many times, so many ways, in my head. And different because she was never really mine to lose. And different because this wasn't my fault. â€Å"My fault,† Edward whispered, and his knees gave out. He crumpled in front of me, vulnerable, the easiest target you could imagine. But I felt cold as snow – there was no fire in me. â€Å"Yes,† he groaned into the dirt, like he was confessing to the ground. â€Å"Yes, it's killing her.† His broken helplessness irritated me. I wanted a fight, not an execution. Where was his smug superiority now? â€Å"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything?† I growled. â€Å"He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her.† He looked up then and answered me in a tired voice. Like he was explaining this to a kindergartener for the tenth time. â€Å"She won't let us.† It took a minute for the words to sink in. Jeez, she was running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It was so Bella. â€Å"You know her well,† he whispered. â€Å"How quickly you see†¦. I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened – that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was resolving. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet you understand after one second. . . .† He half-sighed, half-groaned. â€Å"Just back up a second. She won't let you.† The sarcasm was acid on my tongue. â€Å"Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs.† â€Å"I wanted to,† he whispered. â€Å"Carlisle would have___† What, too noble were they? â€Å"No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things.† Oh. His story hadn't made much sense before, but it fit together now. So that's what Blondie was up to. What was in it for her, though? Did the beauty queen want Bella to die so bad? â€Å"Maybe,† he said. â€Å"Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way.† â€Å"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella.† â€Å"Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us†¦ and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it___† He trailed off, his voice disappearing. â€Å"You should have left Bella with me.† â€Å"Yes.† It was a bit late for that, though. Maybe he should have thought about all this before he knocked her up with the life-sucking monster. He stared up at me from inside his own personal hell, and I could see that he agreed with me. â€Å"We didn't know,† he said, the words as quiet as a breath. â€Å"I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able conceive a child with one of us – â€Å" â€Å"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?† â€Å"Yes,† he agreed in a tense whisper. â€Å"They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one survives† He shook his head like the idea revolted him. Like he was any different. â€Å"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are,† I spit. He stared up at me with a face that looked a thousand years old. â€Å"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself.'7 Wrong,I thought, too enraged to speak. â€Å"Killing me now doesn't save her,† he said quietly. â€Å"So what does?† â€Å"Jacob, you have to do something for me.† â€Å"The hell I do, parasite!† He kept staring at me with those half-tired, half-crazy eyes. â€Å"For her?† I clenched my teeth together hard. â€Å"I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late.† â€Å"You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this___† He choked and then swallowed. â€Å"She might listen to you.† â€Å"Why would she?† He lurched to his feet, his eyes burning brighter than before, wilder. I wondered if he was really going crazy. Could vampires lose their minds? â€Å"Maybe,† he answered my thought. â€Å"I don't know. It feels like it.† He shook his head. â€Å"I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!† â€Å"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too.† â€Å"You can offer her what she wants.† He wasn't making any sense. Part of the crazy? â€Å"I don't care about anything but keeping her alive,† he said, suddenly focused now. â€Å"If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.† He paused for one beat. â€Å"She can have puppies, if that's what it takes.† He met my stare for a moment and his face was frenzied under the thin layer of control. My hard scowl crumbled as I processed his words, and I felt my mouth pop open in shock. â€Å"But not this way!† he hissed before I could recover. â€Å"Not this thing that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her.† He sucked in a fast breath like someone had punched him in the gut. â€Å"You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity – encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it Bella's life means nothing to her.† The noise coming from my throat sounded like I was choking. What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn't mind being shared? â€Å"Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.† â€Å"That'sthe craziest thing you've said yet,† I mumbled. â€Å"She loves you.† â€Å"Not enough.† â€Å"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme.† â€Å"Don't you know her at all?† â€Å"I know, I know.It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make hersee sense.† I couldn't think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up. So tempting. I didn't want to consider, didn't want to imagine, but the images came anyway. I'd fantasized about Bella that way too many times, back when there was still a possibility of us, and then long after it was clear that the fantasies would only leave festering sores because there was no possibility, none at all. I hadn't been able to help myself then. I couldn't stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name†¦ Worse still, this new image I'd never had before, one that by all rights shouldn't have existed for me. Not yet. An image I knew I wouldn't've suffered over for years if he hadn't shoved it in my head now. But it stuck there, winding threads through my brain like a weed – poisonous and unkillable. Bella, healthy and glowing, so different than now, but something the same: her body, not distorted, changed in a more natural way. Round with my child. I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind. â€Å"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?† â€Å"At least try.† I shook my head fast. He waited, ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my thoughts. â€Å"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?† â€Å"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition†¦ it changes so fast. The thing is†¦ growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now.† â€Å"What is it?† â€Å"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already.† I could suddenly see it then – see the swelling monster in my head, breaking her from the inside out. â€Å"Help me stop it,† he whispered. â€Å"Help me stop this from happening.† â€Å"How?By offering my stud services?† He didn't even flinch when I said that, but I did. â€Å"You're really sick. She'll never listen to this.† â€Å"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?† It would hurt me. Hadn't I taken enough rejection from Bella without this? â€Å"A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?† â€Å"But it won't work.† â€Å"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need.† â€Å"And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? ‘Just kidding, Bella'?† â€Å"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind.† I couldn't believe I was even thinking about this. Bella would punch me – not that I cared about that, but it would probably break her hand again. I shouldn't let him talk to me, mess with my head. I should just kill him now. â€Å"Not now,† he whispered. â€Å"Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to me.† â€Å"You won't have to beg long.† The hint of a worn smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. â€Å"I'm very much counting on that.† â€Å"Then we have a deal.† He nodded and held out his cold stone hand. Swallowing my disgust, I reached out to take his hand. My fingers closed around the rock, and I shook it once. â€Å"We have a deal,† he agreed.

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

The Dare

My head begins to ache as I lie back thinking about how I got here, the lumps in this uncomfortable bed dig into my back. I wonder how I can possibly manage to think with these various machines that bleep continuously and kindly faces that keep coming to check my temperature and whatever else they need. They keep asking â€Å"Are you alright, duck?† I mean seriously, do I look like I'm alright? I'm covered in cuts and bruises and from what I've heard the doctors telling my anxious parents they are not going to be able to reattach my severed leg to the chaos of tangled nerves and muscle in the bloody stump just above my left knee. I begin to rock slowly back and forwards in silent reaction to the ache radiating from my stump and the memory of that night comes slowly back to me. ***** It was a fairly inconsequential day in the middle of the long, lingering summer holidays when the accident happened; we were all really bored and could not think of anything remotely interesting to do that we hadn't done at least a hundred times already, finally after about an hour of turning down bad ideas and sitting thinking in a frustrating silence for something that wouldn't be sneered at, someone suggested we play dares. Everyone appeared to be pleased with that idea so that is what we decided to do, but even then I had my doubts because I knew what my friends where like and I don't want to sound boring but I didn't particularly want to put me or others in danger with the kind of dares I knew my friends would come up with. It started off fairly innocently with people being dared to do silly little childish things like knocking on people's doors and running away, flashing your bum out of the window and a range of others like that, you know the sort. Until someone, no doubt thinking they were being grown up and funny, dared Georgia to jump off the balcony. She was obviously smarter than we gave her credit for because she refused blankly, saying that it was dangerous and we'd get ourselves killed, but we all ignored her and told her that if she didn't like what we were doing to shut up and go away. Looking back I wish I had taken her advice and left with her. Anyway our group began to run out of ideas so we decided to walk around looking for inspiration for the next dare which would be mine. We ambled around the nearby areas and came across a bridge over a road that was busy in the rush hour but mostly unused by cars at night and Laura squealed the fatal words â€Å"I've thought of an amazing dare†. My stomach turned as the rest of the group discussed the details of my dare and a little voice in my head repeated Georgia's warning from earlier â€Å"You're going to get yourselves killed†. I know what your thinking, voices in my head I must be clinically insane, but it must have been my conscience or something like that. Whatever it was I should have taken more notice. My friends told me after about five minutes of deciding, what my dare would entail; I was to jump off the bridge when it got dark and in the small likelihood of a vehicle passing under it I was to try and avoid being hit. To them it all seemed so simple; someone would stand underneath to tell me when the road was clear and then I would jump, but the nagging voice in my brain wouldn't cease. Yet I didn't want to voice my concerns and appear a coward, so I just nodded and arranged to meet them there later. I don't know how I managed to talk myself into turning up at the bridge that night or how I forced my self to laugh as I looked down from the ledge I was standing on and prepared to jump but somehow I did. My legs shook as I waited for the signal to jump. I tried to ignore the voice echoing in my brain, but I couldn't back down now. My pride wouldn't let me. My friend called up to me â€Å"It's all clear now. Jump† so I closed my eyes, held my breath and leapt off the ledge. I felt myself falling quickly like a stone for what seemed like ages. I opened my eyes and screamed. Blurred colours flashed past me. Coming towards me I saw a blinding, bright light steadily speeding towards me. The sound of an engine reached my ears. My heart raced as I saw in slow motion what was going to happen to me. It came closer and closer not slowing. â€Å"Can't they see me, can't they stop?† I thought, â€Å"If they don't slow down they're going to hit me†. My life flashed before my eyes and my heart pounded like a thousand drums. The last thing I thought before I felt myself finally hit something was; â€Å"Oh my god I'm going to die† I came around and I was almost blinded by the bright lights that surrounded me and was vaguely aware of what sounded like people screaming. As my eyes slowly came into focus I looked around me and my so called ‘friends' were nowhere to be seen†¦. I suddenly felt an excruciating pain coming from my left thigh. I stared dazed for a moment at the torrent of blood gushing from my leg and the distorted mess ten feet away that used to be the other part of it. I went into shock and passed out. Hours later I awoke in the hospital with my worried family beside me and the doctors filled me in on what had happened; as I had jumped from the bridge a car had been heading towards me from underneath it. Just before I hit the road I bounced off the bonnet of the car and which couldn't stop in time and ran over me causing my leg to get caught up in the wheel of the car and dragged along the road, which caused the bone to snap and break away from my body leaving me lying bleeding on the road behind it. When the ambulances arrived there had been no sign of my ‘friends'. ***** So that's where I am now, sitting in my hospital bed and contemplating what would have happened if I had just listened to myself and not let my pride take over. But that's what happens when you take on stupid dares.